Love means always having to say you’re sorry. It can bring people together, but it can also tear them apart. You can’t buy it, unless you’re Donald Trump. Some say that it conquers all; others presume that it’s a drug.
Okay, enough stupid jokes; Valentine’s Day is coming up, and that means that love is in the air. You know, on television or in songs on the radio or at the local cinema, love is a big deal. It’s such a big deal, in fact, that when real-life romance fails to resemble Ross and Rachel, Romeo and Juliet, or Amy Winehouse and a bottle of vodka, people feel somehow cheated.
Chuck Klosterman pegged it as the phenomenon of “fake love,” how people form their concept of romance using models in various examples from pop culture. It’s a common trap to fall into, and your humble correspondent has done so in the past. I prefer to think of myself as the less-cool Jim to every-girl-I’ve-ever-known Pam. That’s slightly healthier than modeling your relationship on Sid and Nancy.
Real life is more complicated than even the most hair-brained Oliver Stone conspiracy film. And romance is no exception; no sweeping music will play in the background as you do the New York Marathon in under one minute to reach the one you love as she’s boarding an airplane to someplace foreign and exotic (Paris, Japan, Akron). You’re gonna have to give up some of your illusions about love, many of which are fostered by the images on the screen or the songs on the radio. Romantic fantasies aren’t the sole realm of women, us guys can get carried away thinking we’ll be your ideal Lloyd Dobler or Jack Dawson. But it’s okay, because here’s something no one tells you: real life is more fulfilling than movie romance.
I say this as a man whose longest relationship lasted one month. But hear me out: when you do manage to get it right with that one person (or many persons, if you’re into group activities), you don’t need fireworks going off or montages set to Celine Dion. You make them all by yourself. And if you let go of the notion that Jessica Alba will wait for you, you’ll find someone a little closer to home who happens to think you’re good enough to be her George Clooney. Hey, girls love guys who make them laugh, so don’t rule out being her Conan O’Brien, either.
Usually I make it a point to boycott Valentine’s Day, but this year I’ll celebrate it even if I’m dateless. And you should, too. The crazy little thing about love is that it makes life a little more interesting. And that’s something you can’t get from a movie screen.
