Here is your I-can’t-afford-to-go-to-a-real-spa-because-I-have-too-many-presents-to-buy answer.
‘Tis the season — the season for gathering everything in your kitchen and mixing it all together. No, you’re not using it for some ridiculously repulsing recipe we found on Food Network, you’re going to be slathering it all over your body.
These at-home spa treatments combine your Thanksgiving leftovers and Friday night hangover ingredients to safeguard against becoming a cracked-out Clark Griswald this holiday season. Take a break from stalking on Facebook while you sit in the library pretending to read Econ. Forget about your pestering boss with the really bad hairpiece. Screw those 15 sets of Christmas lights you have strung down the hallway.
Here is your I-can’t-afford-to-go-to-a-real-spa-because-I-have-too-many-presents-to-buy answer: (And don’t worry, we made sure to test all of these at-home recipes on our new cuddly puppy, Rover, before providing them for your de-stressing enjoyment.)
If you despise the creative and exhaustive number of ways your mother can re-serve holiday leftovers as much as we do, these next recipes are sure to get you steak by Friday (and smooth skin). First, scrounge for the pumpkin pie. Chances are this was the first thing to go; if so, just use one-fourth cup pumpkin puree instead. Add one-fourth teaspoon ground cinnamon, one-fourth teaspoon safflower oil and one egg yolk to your pumpkin mush, and mix. Cover your face and try not to lick all of it off for 20 minutes, then rinse. The A and C vitamins, plus beta-carotene in the pumpkin give your face that same glow you get when you realize all of the leftovers are gone.
Well, all of the good leftovers are gone. Now you’re left with all of the healthy stuff that’s likely to stay in there for weeks. Free up some room for your six-pack by crossing cranberries off tonight’s menu. For a cleansing facial and a quick fix to get your man in the mood (as if that takes any effort), steep (aka soak) one tablespoon dried, crushed savory leaves in one-half cup boiling water. The Greeks thought savory leaves were a powerful aphrodisiac. Add the juice from one-half cup pureed and strained cranberries to the strained savory water and soak onto cotton pads or a washcloth. Press all over your face for 15 minutes or until your man just can’t withstand the sexual calling of the savory leaves a second longer.
This coffee body scrub is a pick-me-up that’ll leave the entire office searching for stains. With only two cups coarsely ground coffee, one-half cup raw sugar or sea salt and two to three tablespoons massage oil, this is the cheapest cup of joe around. Just mix the three together, lather, rinse, repeat.
If you’re legal, stressed and your dad is a grazer, try these intoxicating treatments from Health.com. New York City’s Just Calm Down Spa offers the “Laguna Be-Otch Manicure,” but you can have it for less in your living room. Mix one-half cup sugar and olive oil, two tablespoons Bacardi Grand Melon or Bacardi Limón, one-fourth cup shredded coconut and two tablespoons mashed cantaloupe. Apply to hands and feet and massage into skin for two to three minutes before rinsing. Cheers.
It’s 5 o’clock somewhere and you know what that means. You’ve filled a bowl with enough warm water to cover your ankles, added half a bottle of your favorite beer (drank the other five and a half) and soaked your tootsies for 15. This Beer Pedicure softens the bottoms of your feet with the yeast in the beer and the alcohol works as a natural antiseptic.
If you’re more of a José senorita and less of a Bud girl, try our house special: the Margarita Salt Scrub. The blend of salts, oils and tequila exfoliate, cleanse, and rejuvenate skin. To play spa bartender, mix one cup fine sea salt, two ounces olive oil, the juice of one lime and half a shot of white tequila (sorry José) in a cup or bowl. Slather the concoction onto skin in large, circular motions. Rinse and moisturize.
Whether you’ve got turkey or tequila, tests or testy bosses, try a delectable spa treatment at home for half the price.
